7 things I’ve learnt since giving birth

Bea is now three weeks old. Some things I have learned during this time:

Kirstie Allsopp rules daytime TV

Which is annoying, but her inability to put a cardigan over a dress without it looking like she’s thrownurl-1 a tantrum with oil paints makes me feel a little bit better about not being able to put clothes on at all. The visual metaphors in Location, Location, Location are also wonderful: when Kirstie sagely says, ‘let’s hope they don’t pull the plug on this one’ before draining a small ensuite basin, I am strangely happy.

There is no substitute for sleep

And if my husband and daughter get more than me – which they always do – I am a bit resentful.

Breastfeeding means constant hunger

Mainly for chocolate and bread.

Not to watch scary things

Thanks to Luther and the last episode of The Returned I got even less sleep this weekend.Bea babygrow

Some adverts are ridiculous

Forget the payday loans and no win, no fee lawyer ads. The really mindless ones include the ‘bee strong’ shampoo one with Nicole Scherzinger and the Boss one with Gwyneth P – both phenonenally stupid. The only good one is the O2 ‘Be more dog’ ad, which does deserve a prize.

Monotony is mild torture …

Today, for example, has involved: changing, feeding, changing, taking a nap (Bea and me), feeding, changing, going for a short walk, changing, feeding, napping, changing, lunch (me – cut short by Bea crying), lots of burping, feeding, changing, feeding some more and napping (I hope, though it will probably be more feeding. Or changing).

… but I’m happy to do it for a bit longer.

This part doesn’t last forever, I’m told. And while it’s pretty draining, it’s also pretty wonderful.