NEWSFLASH: Kate Middleton has NOT had a baby

As I write, Kate Middleton – the Duchess of Cambridge – has NOT had a baby.

This should not be news, but in the frenzied build-up to the new heir’s  birth, speaking as someone who was due, as Kate is, to have a baby ‘mid July’ (my due date was 17th) but gave birth nine days early, and as someone who has felt rather frustrated by the media coverage of the ‘impending birth’ over the last nine months, this morning I feel huge sympathy for her.

Look at the ladders. See the reporters drink their tea. It is a zoo. Someone has even put a sign up outside the Lindo Wing of St. Mary’s Hospital, Paddington, saying ‘do not feed the photographers’.slide_307666_2678989_free

And in the meantime, we as the waiting public are ‘fed’ snippets: the Queen wants the baby to come before she hot-foots it to Balmoral. Camilla wants it ‘by the end of the week’. Carole has ‘indicated (the baby) will be a Leo‘, suggesting the birth date could not be due before 22nd July.

article-2367618-1ADBBC3A000005DC-521_964x689Ease up everyone. I’m quite sure Kate has had enough of all this. am quite happy to have had my baby before his or her royal highness popped out simply because it means the name I have chosen is obviously not a ‘copy’ of Kate’s, as I feared it might be. But the surprise and relief of having a baby a little bit early, compared to a friend of mine whose due date is also 17th July and who has still not had it is immense. Not only would it be fairly hideous still to be pregnant in this heat; the expectation and enquiries from well-wishers would have me grinding my teeth even if I wasn’t the Duchess.

urlI hope Kate is comfortable, not too scared about the prospect of birth (it’s fine. Really.  Gas and air, Lucozade and a strong-armed husband – which I assume William is – went a long way to help me) and getting lots of sleep. Because whilst the baby will likely want for nothing, if we are to believe what we read about Will & Kate being ‘hands on’, that’s one thing Kate can never get enough of.


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